I Am So Confused

Ok, so a week and a half ago I was preparing to fly to Raleigh to do some fundraising for our project in the Springs. We have been moving forward with a commitment to trying to plant a church but my beautiful wife has been pretty insistent that the timing was not right. About two weeks before I was to leave for Raleigh she asked if I would send out some resumes to a few churches just to see what happens. So I did what she asked and something happened. The most intriguing happened less than 24 hours before I was to fly to Raleigh. I had e-mailed a cover letter and resume to a church in Wichita at 12:18am Friday and at 8:30am I received a phone call from them. After about 20 minutes of answering questions I was told that from what I had said and on paper I looked to be a good fit but they wanted to see a DVD of me "in action". So latter today I will be sending a DVD to them. Having looked at their website and listened to several sermons including the Senior Pastor's "State of the Church" vision sermon I have become extremely excited about the possibility of being a part of that church. As I told a friend this morning, if I were to design a church, this would be it. It is a chruch that has a deep God-given desire to plant churches in order to reach their area for Christ. They have been active in reaching the community with the Gospel. 96 people accepted Christ last in the past year.

Now, I know that it is easy for me to get excited about this even though it is very, very early but I am praying that God will open the door to be a part of that church quickly.

I am tired and have come to grips with that fact that I do not have the energy to do a church plant at this point in my life. My wife does not feel comfortable with the timing. God help me to know your plan for us.

Is it Him or is it me.

Tick, tock, tick, tock...ok, there was no tick, tock because I was looking at a digital clock but you get the point, time was moving slow. I sat in a conference room waiting for 6:45 pm and hoping and praying that someone, anyone would show up. I had put out 1,000 brochures, been asking my prayer team to pray fervently and was waiting for God to do something incredible.

6:45 came and went, I kept a smile, 7:00, I laughed a little, 7:20 time to pack up. No one, nadda, zip, zero. Not a single person came to the first meeting for our church plant. Now I know that door to door brochure distribution is not a high numbers way of advertisment but I thought I would at least get one, especially because several people I talked with seemed genuinely interested.

I must admit that was someone dissapointed and I felt like throwing in the towel but I had to remind myself that no one ever said this was going to be easy. I had only handed out some brochures. I know that I need to be much more aggresive in finding people. I need to get at least one family from the area to come on board.

Lord, help me to be faithful with what I believe you have called me to. Church planting is hard work especially when you are going into an area alone and not knowing anyone. I will do what it takes but I need you to build your church.

T.

When Anger Strikes

Have you ever had one of those moments in which something happened that pushed that anger button within you? I mean something that made you feel as though you could put your fist through the wall...twice? This morning I was upstairs with my kids while my wife was in the shower and our dog was sitting at my feet. My wife called me downstairs and told me she needed to show me something. Immediately my mind starting thinking about what I might have left laying in the family room (like a half full coffee cup) that would cause me to be summoned. I went downstairs trying to determine if that half-smile on her face was one of amusement or frustration. When I hit that bottom of the stairs I saw her pointing behind my big blue leather chair and the first thought that ran through my mind was "Whew! It's not me this time." The second thought was "I am going to kill that dog!"

Sometime that morning, without any of us realizing it, the dog chewed a hole 8 inches in diameter in the corner of our 40 year old Bulgarian area rug. This rug was given to us by some dear friends as a gift when we moved from N.C. to CO three and a half years ago. This was a rug that had great value to both of us. We began to "explain" to the dog that if it were not for the kids attachment to her she would be on her way to the pound and she was immediately and forcefully escorted to the back door and banished to the back yard for the day.

Shortly thereafter, I left to go to my office (which ended up being my favorite coffee shop) so that I could work on sermon prep and my other super spiritual pastoral duties. As I was driving along, I realized that even though she was a dog, I reacted wrongly to her. Yes she is a dog and some would say that dogs don't understand or remember but I know my dog understands and remembers. I allowed myself to react in anger. I allowed my wife and my children see me lash out in anger. I believe I violated the command from Ephesians 4:26 which says, "In your anger do not sin:" I was also allowing the anger of that moment to affect my attitude and if I allowed myself to continue in that attitude I would in essence be "allow[ing] the sun to go down while [I was] angry..." (Eph. 4:26). Finally, I would be allowing that attitude to affect my whole day and who knows how that would play out except to say it would not be good..."and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:27)

As I walked into the coffee shop and began to open up my laptop the Holy Spirit brought to mind the passage from Exodus 34:6 which says "The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6 - emphasis mine). How many times have I been that dog that chewed a hole in the priceless area rug and yet God was compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love? More times than I can count.

I am amazed at how God uses brief events in our lives to remind us of his character. I am amazed at how God uses these events to show us the areas that we have to grow in. I pray that God will continue to show me his greatness and awesomeness and that I will continually surrend to the work of the Holy Spirit in my life in order that I would "be filled with the Spirit" Eph. 5:18.

So the question is this: When something happens that causes that anger button to be pushed, will we allow the Holy Spirit to control us or will be give the devil another foothold?

Friends

Last night my wife and I were able to spend some time with some friends we don't see near as much as we would like. I have to admit that when they arrived to pick us up I became a little giddy. A night out with friends for a good meal and some fun...without the kids. Woohoo! After we got home it hit me that we often use the excuse that life is too busy to do these kind of things but I think that is one of our biggest problems in America: we are too busy and we don't make the time for the things that are really important like family, friends, our relationship with Jesus Christ. I have spent a lot of time in 13 other countries throughout the world and one thing I noticed is that although life is often times much more difficult than it is here in the U.S. it is more simple and they make time for what truly matters.

Why do we crack on Peter?

In Matthew 14:25-31 we see a pretty cool event take place. The disciples, at Jesus' command, climb into a boat and go ahead of him to the other side of the lake and just before dawn they found themselves in a storm that was apparantly quite scary. However, they saw something that caused them to take their focus off of the storm and something that frightened them even more. Jesus was coming toward them and he was walking on the water. After telling the disciples to not be afraid, Peter, being the impulsive one said, "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." So Jesus said come and Peter climb out of the boat and started to walk toward Jesus, ON THE WATER. However, after a few moments he realized that there were great waves around him and he was doing something that was not humanly possible and he began to sink. My guess is that he began to sink pretty quickly because he shouted to Jesus to save him and Jesus immedidately reached out and grabbed his hand and they both got into the boat.

Now, when most people read this passage, they say things like, "see, here is an example of someone who didn't have faith." or, "here we see Peter getting distracted by his surroundings instead of focusing on Christ." You know what? They are right. Peter did do those things. But you know something else? Peter was the only one who had the guts to jump out of that boat. I do not doubt for one minute that had any of the other disciples answered Jesus' call to come to him that they too would have walked on water. Can you picture it? 13 men having the time of their life walking across the lake while the boat they were in continues to get battered and thrown around by the wind and the waves. Imagine the look on the faces of the people on the other side of the lake as they watched these men walk to shore. Now imagine the talk among the dicsiples later that evening. "Hey Judas, can you believe Peter just jumped out of the boat like that? And then he didn't even have enough faith to stay afloat." Or, "Peter, when are you going to learn to not be so impulsive? Good thing Jesus was there to bail you out again."

You know something? Yes Peter took his eyes off of Jesus and yes he began to sink. Yes he made a mistake but he was the only one willing to take a risk. Why didn't the other disciples begin to sink? Because they were still in the boat. Crack on Peter all you want but he had the guts to literally sink or swim or rather sink or walk.

In my own personal life i know there are times when I tend to be too impulsive and this can get me in trouble. However, I know that there are times when I am too scared to take a risk for the cause of Christ. I want to be like Peter who although had some rough edges was willing to ignore the wisdom of men and put his life in the hand of Jesus (literally).

So are you going to be like Peter or are you going to stay in the boat?