Where are Your Eyes Focused

 I know this is not uncommon but I have a fascination with lighthouses. It started when I was living in North Carolina in the late 90's and my wife and I visited the Outer Banks for our 2nd anniversary. We traveled to see the lighthouses on Ocracoke Island, Cape Hatteras, and Bodie Island. My favorite was Cape Hatteras simply because we got to climb to the top of it.

For the past seven years we have been living on the shore of Lake Michigan in Northeast Wisconsin and lighthouses are a part of our culture here as well. We recently visited Eagle Rock lighthouse in Door County and I insisted to my wife that we pay a silly amount of money to take a tour of the lighthouse and the living quarters that the Captain and his family lived in until the 1930's. It was AWESOME! Also, in our town there is lighthouse and I have spent time at the base of it fishing for salmon in the spring and fall.

No matter which lighthouse I visited or fished by I was enamored with the importance of the lighthouse and it's attendants. Lives depended up their faithfulness and dependability. If they failed to keep their promise to keep the beacon lit people would die.

Recently I heard a song by "The Rend Collective Experiment" called My Lighthouse. Here are some of the words.

In my wrestling and in my doubts. 
In my failures You won't walk out.
Your great love will see me through.
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse, shining in the darkness,
I will follow you.
My lighthouse, I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore.

This past Sunday we sang this song at church again and as I led I found my self singing these words with a new understanding. You see, three weeks ago I found out my time at the church I have been worship pastor of for the past seven years is coming to an end. Needless to say, my world is rocking. My family and I had planned on staying here for many, many more years but God has other plans.

The decision seemingly came out of the blue but as I look back in hindsight, there were markers along the way that were pointing to this. I think I just chose to ignore them or honestly missed them. Nothing bad or immoral happened, it was simply the fact that the rest of the leadership team was going in one direction and I couldn't go with them. 

In this decision I found myself asking questions like, "What could I have done differently?" "What could they have done differently?" "Could there be a middle ground?" If I honestly answer these questions I would have to say, nothing, nothing and no. Other questions raced through my mind and words like failure, parked themselves in my brain. I have to fight to get them out of there. I began to realize that it is simply the fact that God is doing something different in me then He is in them and He is calling me to a different place. I can accept that but it still hurts. This is my home, it is my family's home. I don't want to go!

Today is the first day in three weeks in which I began to loosen my grip and let go. I found myself sitting at my desk and crying tears of sadness because I was letting go of something I dearly loved. I haven't felt this way in almost 28 years when I grieved the death of my grandfather who I was incredibly close to. It hurts but I am reminded by the words of My Lighthouse, "...You will carry me safe to shore."

I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus no matter how much the storm seems to be raging. I will keep my eyes on Jesus.

"Let It Go"

There are times in life when God asks us to "Let it go." Sometimes it's easy to listen because you really want to let it go like when you pick up a hot pan without pot holders. Other times it's much more difficult because what you're holding is so good. 

My family is being asked to let go of something that has been wonderful for us. God is asking us to let go of our home and ministry for the last seven years and to trust him to lead us to a new place. A place where He wants us and (not trying to sound arrogant) a place where He needs us. 

I told my wife the other day that I believe God is saying, "Todd you did what I brought you here to do now I am bringing you to a different place because I have created you and gifted you to be the person I need for this job." So what is this new thing? I have no stinking idea!!!!!! I only know that God is saying trust me and I am going to trust Him.

Almost everyday my wife and I have been talking about what we are studying in our personal worship times and almost everyday for one or both of us it is about letting go, trusting God when you don't know what's next, or just plain clinging to Him. We aren't searching for this stuff to make us feel better it's simple the timing of the Bible study we're involved in or the passage that is next on our Year through the Bible reading.

It not easy, it is VERY emotional but I am going to do my best to enjoy the process of finding out. As a pastor I have so often counseled people to just trust God because he is a good God who loves you and has your best in mind. Now it is time to practice what I preach (pun intended). 

I was reminded of Matthew 7:7-11

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

God I am letting go, I am asking, and I am trusting You.