The Blessing of Unity

"Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore." Psalm 133

Today is day that I wish I could fast forward through and arrive at tomorrow morning. It is a day I wish I didn't have to be in the office and could just hide somewhere. Today is the day that our elder board will stand before the congregation and ask them to vote for my dismissal. Yes, you read that correctly. They are asking for me to be terminated as a pastor at our church. 

I have known this day is coming for a little over a month and I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I didn't do anything immoral or unbiblical. There was no affair or addiction. It is simply because I don't have the administrative skill set and leadership style they feel is needed. I struggle with this and believe they are making a mistake. I could go into the reasons why I feel that way but it would not be appropriate so I won't.

So here is the deal. I believe they are making a wrong decision and me and my family will suffer because of this decision yet...I still love these men and am willing to stand next to them in ministry until my final day here arrives. Why is this?

You see, unity doesn't mean we always agree, it means that we will love each other well and stay committed to each other even in the midst of that disagreement. We will seek restoration when we feel we were wronged and we will not allow Satan to get his grimy hands on this precious bride of Christ, the Church, and drive wedges of discord and anger between us. 

My biggest prayer for this meeting tonight is that even though there will be disagreement, and there will be plenty, there will be love and commitment and above all else, unity.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of god in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14

What an awesome passage written by the Apostle Paul. It is such a great reminder for every person who is a child of God no matter how long they have been following Him. I think is a passage that every believer should read every single day to remind them of one important fact. NOBODY HAS ARRIVED YET!

I am trying to remind myself of this daily. Why? Because I am going through a difficult time in which I feel that some people very close to me have wronged me. I find myself talking to myself while I am driving around town or outside working saying things like, "I would never do what they are doing!" or "They are going to have to answer to God on this one someday and I hope he nails them!" Things they have said to me have cut me deeply and even caused me to doubt myself. I feel like they are spinning things to try to keep everything in control and I am being asked to be quiet and take it for the sake of unity. So......I must stop and remind myself that I have not arrived where Christ wants me to be nor have they. So even if some of what I feel is true I must love them well even if I disagree with them and I must remember that they have not arrived where Christ wants them. 

Imagine what could happen in a church if everybody had that same mindset. What a powerful witness that would be. A church that is ever mindful that they are in a process called sanctification. A process that is continual and will never be complete until Christ calls us to be with him. A process in which we stumble and bumble our way trying to honor God knowing that we will fail and fall yet knowing that there is grace with each other to keep at it.

So here are the words I give to myself and I hope whoever reads this will do likewise: "I am not yet perfect but I am striving to experience the power that raised Christ from the dead in my own life so I will become more like him every single day. Oh, by the way, the others around me are doing the same to cut 'em some slack."

Shalom

Where are Your Eyes Focused

 I know this is not uncommon but I have a fascination with lighthouses. It started when I was living in North Carolina in the late 90's and my wife and I visited the Outer Banks for our 2nd anniversary. We traveled to see the lighthouses on Ocracoke Island, Cape Hatteras, and Bodie Island. My favorite was Cape Hatteras simply because we got to climb to the top of it.

For the past seven years we have been living on the shore of Lake Michigan in Northeast Wisconsin and lighthouses are a part of our culture here as well. We recently visited Eagle Rock lighthouse in Door County and I insisted to my wife that we pay a silly amount of money to take a tour of the lighthouse and the living quarters that the Captain and his family lived in until the 1930's. It was AWESOME! Also, in our town there is lighthouse and I have spent time at the base of it fishing for salmon in the spring and fall.

No matter which lighthouse I visited or fished by I was enamored with the importance of the lighthouse and it's attendants. Lives depended up their faithfulness and dependability. If they failed to keep their promise to keep the beacon lit people would die.

Recently I heard a song by "The Rend Collective Experiment" called My Lighthouse. Here are some of the words.

In my wrestling and in my doubts. 
In my failures You won't walk out.
Your great love will see me through.
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse, shining in the darkness,
I will follow you.
My lighthouse, I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore.

This past Sunday we sang this song at church again and as I led I found my self singing these words with a new understanding. You see, three weeks ago I found out my time at the church I have been worship pastor of for the past seven years is coming to an end. Needless to say, my world is rocking. My family and I had planned on staying here for many, many more years but God has other plans.

The decision seemingly came out of the blue but as I look back in hindsight, there were markers along the way that were pointing to this. I think I just chose to ignore them or honestly missed them. Nothing bad or immoral happened, it was simply the fact that the rest of the leadership team was going in one direction and I couldn't go with them. 

In this decision I found myself asking questions like, "What could I have done differently?" "What could they have done differently?" "Could there be a middle ground?" If I honestly answer these questions I would have to say, nothing, nothing and no. Other questions raced through my mind and words like failure, parked themselves in my brain. I have to fight to get them out of there. I began to realize that it is simply the fact that God is doing something different in me then He is in them and He is calling me to a different place. I can accept that but it still hurts. This is my home, it is my family's home. I don't want to go!

Today is the first day in three weeks in which I began to loosen my grip and let go. I found myself sitting at my desk and crying tears of sadness because I was letting go of something I dearly loved. I haven't felt this way in almost 28 years when I grieved the death of my grandfather who I was incredibly close to. It hurts but I am reminded by the words of My Lighthouse, "...You will carry me safe to shore."

I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus no matter how much the storm seems to be raging. I will keep my eyes on Jesus.

"Let It Go"

There are times in life when God asks us to "Let it go." Sometimes it's easy to listen because you really want to let it go like when you pick up a hot pan without pot holders. Other times it's much more difficult because what you're holding is so good. 

My family is being asked to let go of something that has been wonderful for us. God is asking us to let go of our home and ministry for the last seven years and to trust him to lead us to a new place. A place where He wants us and (not trying to sound arrogant) a place where He needs us. 

I told my wife the other day that I believe God is saying, "Todd you did what I brought you here to do now I am bringing you to a different place because I have created you and gifted you to be the person I need for this job." So what is this new thing? I have no stinking idea!!!!!! I only know that God is saying trust me and I am going to trust Him.

Almost everyday my wife and I have been talking about what we are studying in our personal worship times and almost everyday for one or both of us it is about letting go, trusting God when you don't know what's next, or just plain clinging to Him. We aren't searching for this stuff to make us feel better it's simple the timing of the Bible study we're involved in or the passage that is next on our Year through the Bible reading.

It not easy, it is VERY emotional but I am going to do my best to enjoy the process of finding out. As a pastor I have so often counseled people to just trust God because he is a good God who loves you and has your best in mind. Now it is time to practice what I preach (pun intended). 

I was reminded of Matthew 7:7-11

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

God I am letting go, I am asking, and I am trusting You. 

Polished Perfection or Not?

So here is something I am wrestling with. We often talk about how "excellence" is the currency of our culture. People expect it and demand it. If a person is faced with a choice between two churches and all things are equal with regard to facilities, programing, opportunities, etc. I am told that they will choose the church that is more polished. Really??????? Is that all there is to it?

What about with music, (which is my area)? I was told that I need to strive to be as close to what people hear on the radio with regard to musicality and quality. Really? Is that what people want? Is that what my job is about? Bringing us to the same level of professionalism that is played on the radio?

We lament that people are too me-oriented and too consumeristic but aren't we feeding the beast with the level of perfection we demand from our volunteers? Are we sending a mixed message of we want you to be real but we also want you to be pretty polished people?

I love my church family. The past three years have been one of the best experiences my family and I have had in a church. We feel loved and we love the people here. It really feels like a family to us. So don't misunderstand this post and think that I am saying that we have got it all wrong. Also, please don't think that I am saying we should not seek to improve and get better or just show up and "see what happens". I'm not, but I do think that we need to re-examine some things.

I have never been one who tries to put on a "church-smile". If you ask me how I am doing you're going to get the real answer. If I ask you how you are doing I want the real answer. When I am leading worship from the stage I don't want to perform, I want to worship God in that moment. Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm grumpy, sometimes I am struggling with a area of sin, sometimes I do it because I want to, sometimes I do it because I have too, sometimes I do it because I don't know what else to do. I'm not perfect and I have never claimed to be. I am not a pretty person (I'm not talking about physically prettiness although I probably wouldn't fall into that category either) and I don't want to be part of a church that is made up of pretty people. I want to be a part of a church that is made up of real people. People that know that they are broken and sinful yet also know that they are continually being made more and more into the likeness of Christ. People who don't claim to know all the answers but know the One who does have all the answers.

So I guess what I am trying to ask is this: When is good enough...good enough? My answer? It is good enough when you are giving everything you can at that moment for God.

What do you think?

Life Unplugged

Have you ever gone on vacation only to take your laptop, cellphone or other electronic tether? Try doing it without it sometime. I just recently returned from a family vacation to Colorado and during the entire 9-day trip I kept my cell phone off and had actually left my laptop at home. My thought at the beginning of the trip was, "How will I check e-mail or get important phone calls? What if the people filling in for me need something or have a question? What if something major happens and they can't get a hold of me? What if...?" Well, guess what? The earth didn't stop spinning and my church didn't fold. Everything was fine. Actually, it was better than fine. It was the most relaxing, peaceful vacation I have had in years and I realized something. "It's ok to unplug!"

Laptops, cell-phones, and other electronic devices are great tools to help us be more efficient and effective but we must always remember, they are tools. They should remain as such. Don't let them control you! Don't let them dictate your life.

For those of you who are old enough to remember life before cell phones and wi-fi, remember that we did just fine then and you can do fine now.

Nothing overly profound about this post just a reminder to don't be afraid to live life uplugged.

Peace

What's my Motive

This Sunday we have a guest speaker. He is pastor from Ireland and will be sharing about what God is doing in and through the church in Ireland and Europe. I am looking forward to it but I have a struggle. I am working on the worship set for that particular service and I find myself more concerned with impressing him than with honoring God. Thoughts such as, "maybe if we sound really awesome he will ask us to come to lead worship there." How stupid, I know and believe with all my heart that my first and number one priority as a worship leader is to honor God yet I am thinking more about man. God help me to get my focus back on you. No matter how good it sounds and looks it is a pile of manure unless it is for your glory.

For all of us, if we stop and think about our lives, how many times are we more concerned with the accolades of man than honoring God? At work do we focus more on getting the attention and praises of our boss or coworkers more than doing it as worship to God? In our communities are we more concerned with looking like we have it all together than we are being real with our neighbors in good and bad and pointing them to God? For many of us I believe the answer is a resounding yes.

Let's take some time to stop and humbly stand before God ask forgiveness. Then recalibrate our priorities on Him and Him alone.